Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize