Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
