She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
