i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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