i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
