Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
