Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
