i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No subtext here. People are naked.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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