im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
