this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
only you would photoshop your dick
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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