Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
