Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
