So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't deserve a penis
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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