I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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