big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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