is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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