ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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