Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
