Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
