He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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