just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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