The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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