this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize