So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize