so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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