If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
