roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
