Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
