did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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