oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
