my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
But theres a keg here and me gusta
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
