I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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