I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Randomize
