Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
