some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
