i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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