Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
