I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
