Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Randomize
