Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
