I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
