Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
