You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
