Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
