I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
