there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
