Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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