I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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