Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
