She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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