Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
