She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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