remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
