So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
