Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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