Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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