Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
