There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
jump out the window naked night went bad
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
