it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
