You're so nebulous sometimes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
