You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
