You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
